August 18, 2010

In the end.

Posted in Uncategorized at 11:43 am by Jacob


As the winter breeze flies down by our side the world continues to turn.
Our hearts, no longer beating in unison, now beat only alone, unaccompanied by each others.

The sky, now a lime green, sooths our soul as we lie down upon the grass. The clouds dance lightyly, forming shapes from each motion to motion.

The cry of far away violence haunts us as we enjoy the peace.
The moan of sorrow wraps itself around us.

The guilt slides upon our throat and enters our stomach where it is destroyed, never to be seen again.
We breathe, as the sun begins to set.
The breeze begins to stop and the sky begins turns to normal – whatever our perception of normal is.

Say goodbye to that place. Say goodbye to it all.
You never thought it could leave, or you’d ever have to leave it,

But today, its your turn. So, pack your things.
Don’t cry. You don’t need to cry.

Our body begins to fall taking down the emotions which we tried to hard to suppress.
We cry knowing we don’t need too.

We break down knowing they are going to stop us.
We resist knowing they can’t beat us.

We stop fighting knowing that there is no place for us here.
We stopped fighting knowing that where we’re going, there will be a place for us.

We realise that all of this isn’t worth fighting for.
It will all end up the same way.
Desolate, forgotten, alone.

What point is there fighting for a world that will only be fought against in the future?
What point is there fighting for events that will only be overruled by time, by others, by the inevitable?
What point is there in trying to be someone that will be remembered when others strive to achieve the same as you do and when they have time on their side?

What point is there to a life which will only become one of the past, which, in time, will become another plot in the graveyard and another tombstone to grant you eternal peace?

Thanks for reading,
Jacob xo

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July 21, 2010

Occlusion.

Posted in Uncategorized at 12:45 pm by Jacob


You lost me.

Its always hard for the individual to admit to themselves long before they allow word to spread.
We’re always, suppressed by an array of emotions. Emotions which challenge all we know. Emotions which constrict all we know and want.
Not only that, but we put ourselves in positions which we think we can survive in, we live a life in hope that one day, it’ll be easier.

What will we do to achieve this? What can we do? What should we stop ourselves from doing?

Is it worth it?
Is it worth the late nights? The endless headache? The mind numbing madness we call our day?
Or should we just leave it all behind for a life without achievement or complication and follow a life of simplicity and loneliness.

~

Keep the world unknowing.
Cry when alone, smile when surrounded.
Remember the past but look to the future.
Love; Loathe; Live.
Bye Bye Whitebird.

~

Exhibit A.
The murder took place around 10 last night.
The broken class indicated a struggle, the blood tricking over the carpet shows that the body was dragged to the outside of the house post-mortem and then dropped in the pool.

Neighbours heard nothing.
The only reason the body was found was due to gardener who comes every Thursday.
Hope that answers all your questions. Thanks for your time.

~

The rifle fires and the sun dry up.
All of the plains are bare, like the breast of a woman after her eighteenth child.
Nothing seems achievable. Nothing seems explainable.

The world is just a sphere, not a square. We live on a total chance of life and we abused it.
We brought the end to something which should never have been granted to us.

All of this, flickering of lives, buzzing around the metropolitan as we smoke our souls to death was granted by our own greed. No one else is to blame.

So take the blame, don’t shove it to others. You caused it.
Don’t look away. You have nothing to hide from anymore. It’s all out in the open, so fear it… fear me.

If I didn’t tell you, you would never have known. You eyes would have remained locked to the obvious truth glancing right back at you, waiting for something, anything.

Thanks for Reading,
Jacob xo

July 7, 2010

When it all gets too much.

Posted in Uncategorized at 6:18 am by Jacob


So don’t be a running life.
You wont turn to time.

When it all gets too much.
When were on the edge from giving up.
When your backup plan failed.
When each day seems to be a square on the calendar and nothing more.
When each tick of the clock is another moment gone and another chance, wasted.
When hope seems to be gone because nothing seems to be present.
When we see others smiling, enjoying, loving and nothing, not one bit, comes towards us.
When were stuck to observe and be there for others when they can’t even seem to see you need them.
When you do try and still, they ignore you.

When your heart decides that now is a better moment then ever to try to do something for yourself because no one seems to be trying for you.
When the people who love you don’t give you enough to be happy and you always crave more.
When their eyes are nothing but negativity showering hate upon our last movements.
When work doesn’t matter because we’ll find a way to get out of it later.
When procrastination isn’t a good enough excuse so we will find some other idea to not do it now.

When it all gets too much.
We forget what’s important.
Whose important.
Why their important.
But most importantly, where in the world those important people are.

We think their lost.
But their not.

They will be back before we know it.
Just you wait.

And if their not, you know that they weren’t meant too because everything happens for a reason and if you don’t see it now,
It will all become clear later.

Thanks for Reading,
Jacob xo

Gravity.

Posted in Uncategorized at 5:43 am by Jacob



Doors slam
Lights black
You’re gone
Come back

I would just like to start with the idea that you don’t know me.

You don’t know where I’ve been.
You don’t know the things that I may or may not have in common with you.
You know nothing.

A nothing which cannot be mimicked by anything else that doesn’t exist.

Me and you shouldn’t be challenged, we shouldn’t be in a race that we don’t believe we cannot win.
I shouldn’t be angry for what nothing was and what will remain that.

~

The petals dance over the corridors as her voice echoes in the distant breeze.
Her sighing moan drifts like the island storm, waking all those in their nights slumber.
The lioness dances as lights fade down, and we close our hearts to the perfection as it falls out of our eyes reach.

~

Everyone always has a kind side.
A side which they smile for you.
Laugh for you.
Open up for you.
And only for you.

They fall for you and your speech.
Their presence lingers upon the furniture as you go to lay
You allow your mind to swell.
You see their face in a sea of moments which reside in nothing more than fragments of a past that’s lost.

Could we try to make that memory again?
Could we try to make anything again?

As am I, for you are you and we are nothing in the eyes of ourselves.

Thanks for Reading,
Jacob xo

Unpredictability.

Posted in Uncategorized at 3:55 am by Jacob


Eat me
In the space
Within my heart
Love you for God
Love you for the Mother

The expression upon the face of the world resides as a free laggy component of our emotions. Droning away at the continuation of our mere existence. Droning away at instability that we call our lives.

We cannot move, anymore. For as our life halters on the rest of the world sorta, goes a little bit faster. It calls us, to freedom, to self expression and happiness.
We are one force full of fear and self deception. We don’t know ourselves, for who is without an unexplored sector.
We ramble as the suns rays warm up our lips and the heat dances upon our saliva.
Our hands continue to tremble, the continue to long for pressure. They want something wrapped around them, squeezing the life out of them as we use them to curl up for sleep.
Nothing wants to be forever anymore. But when did forever exist in the past?
Forever never existed. The only possibility is that there wont be a possible outcome, a predictable outcome. We never know what’s going to happen. That’s unfortunately the fantastic unpredictability of life. Whether we hate it or not is one thing. Should we learn to love it? Should we learn to believe it? Should we learn to ignore it?
We should learn to stop learning!
The thought of learning and the mere act of learning raises us in the belief that our life is in fact predictable, we have a chance to know what’s around the corner with the evidence that someone in the past did it, so follow what they do and more than likely you’ll have the same outcome. But in the off chance that we might stuff up and it doesn’t go to plan then they say, well it’s a different time, a different set of rules. Sorry we didn’t tell you.

Don’t fall for the traps set by our society. As structured as it may appear there is still room for an earthquake to occur. There is still room for someone of an unconceivable behavior just waiting around the corner where you’ll have no idea until they have made themselves very well known.

Don’t be afraid of this. At least believe that we were made to cope with this. If a bazillion people suffered through this thing called life and made it all the way to the grave in the knowledge that they gave it their best shot and was happy with the life they left behind, whats to say that another bazillion, including us can do it too?

Sure the stakes are raised, the wall that we must climb over taller, but what’s history without a challenge that will beat the ones that occurred within the past?
That’s all their motivations are you know. Just making us look better than those before us.
If they were as smart as they proclaim they should just give up and put two and two together and just say, oh well, they are gonna beat us anyway, they got time on their side.
Which says another thing, whoever has time on their side IS the winner.

Whoever comes after what has come will undoubtedly strive to achieve higher than the one before them. Its only human, right?

So when your sitting in a chair in a starbucks coffee lounge with two empty seats next to you and someone asks “Is this seat taken?” say “No” with a charming smile and embrace that unpredictable nature of the world because even you, yes you, can have a moment of random happiness in this city of strangers.

Thanks for Reading,
Jacob xo

June 27, 2010

The Train.

Posted in Uncategorized at 12:17 pm by Jacob


If you walk away, I could keep my head
We could creep away
In the dark
Or maybe now
We could shoot it down anyway

Childhood.
A time period which exists only for a matter of years.
Then we are put under the pressure of life for the rest of them till the day we die.

Our each, individual childhoods felt something special within our own eyes.
We all have memories that we remember, memories which another could not familiarise with.
We remember then, we treasure them.
Our siblings reside in them.
Our parents haunt them.
Our friends disappear through them.
Then finally, those memories become moments which we wish we could relive again due to the sheer simplicity of live.

Where your only care in the world existed among not wanting to clean your room and play on your game boy all day.
Where you would refuse to have your shower and you’d fight to the end for that extra five minutes to finish the show before your bedtime.
When you didn’t eat tomatoes, and still, you don’t.
Where you thought lobsters were monsters and tomato sauce and boiled rice was the best thing to eat.
When you’d be picked up from school and you would put your bag in the boot of your mums car.
Where on Sundays you’d go eat at your grandparents house and always leave their house asleep in your dads arms.
When your best friend didn’t talk, because they didn’t have too and well they were a stuffed animal.
When you would wake up early to watch cartoons on a Saturday morning and sit on the couch and wake your parents up from your laughter.
When school only wanted you to know your ABC’s from your 123’s and your teacher was happy if you didn’t talk in line.
When your friends talked to you about yu-gi-oh cards and not about whose relationship status changed overnight.
When you hated sleeping in and your parents would restrict you from electronics before 9 o’clock to try and make you sleep in.
When the only thing your principle was worried about was if you brought peanut butter to school because there’s one kid who might die if you do.

Where did all these things go?
Lost in a world of innocence and unknowingness.
Lost in a inhabitancy of unrealistic, Disney portrayed worlds where everyone was happy and the bad guy always died at the end of the movie.
Lose in a place which cannot be reached because the train of society pushed us through the doors of adolescence and now, there’s not way to stop the engine, no way to push it back.

Thanks for Reading,
Jacob xo

June 22, 2010

Maybe, today.

Posted in Uncategorized at 9:47 am by Jacob


Hold me, hold me tonight.

Should we just choose, always?
Or is it best to just live, sometimes.

Must I grant, freedom?
Or just, stop believing.

What are we, to others?
When they never see us.

Why should I try to, keep trying?
I feel cured of nothing.

This doesn’t seem to be working, for now.
So what should we do?

I’d think you’ve already made something up, in that head of yours.
You already know I can never decide.

Are we mere convenience?
Or merely an inconvenience?

Sundays spent sitting, whilst staring shouldn’t be spent silent.
Sometimes I need reassurance.
Sometimes I need one voice.
Sometimes I need that voice to say, You know, I think your special.

Because sometimes I don’t feel that way.
And sometimes I think, am I the only voice saying anything?

I don’t like those sometimes, especially when I don’t think you have any.
But I know you do, I’m just not as smart as you.

Some days I think that maybe today,
But I always leave the day thinking, maybe tomorrow.

Then that day, I think, maybe today?
But then again, I hope maybe tomorrow.

Then that tomorrow, I wish, today.

Thanks for Reading,
Jacob xo

May 26, 2010

Try to do what you cannot be.

Posted in Uncategorized at 11:27 am by Jacob


but the devil come to bethlehem
with a bible and an alarm clock
the devil come to bethlehem
and he ain’t afraid of the dark

Why are you happy?
I don’t get it.

I’m supposed to be happy.
I am the one who is supposed to be able to sleep at night knowing that I have done everything for those who deserve my effort.
But I am not happy.

But you are.
You are a pathetic excuse for a human. All you do is mimic the life of whatever someone wants you to be.
I am envious of your situation, even though I will probably be better off that you in the long run.

Its been a year, one, long, year.
But I still haven’t let go.
I know its wrong.
I know I should be over it.
But I’m not.
Okay.
I made a mistake and even to this day I haven’t forgiven myself.
A bakers dozen and a week ago rewind a year, the mistake began. The wheel was set into motion.
I was driven to emotional causes. You were driven by social ideas.

We were both a convenience for each other. Nothing more.
I, don’t… Never did enjoy any part of it.

Maybe you have changed. But I highly doubt that.
I guess alot about what happens with you now. That’s all I do now seeing as I have no one to guess about now.

I can predict all I want but I am only ever right sometimes. Thats chance and luck tied along with fortune.

I wonder which one is right. If fortune is the right one, I’m waiting for mine.

~

I believe that everyone goes through a degree of suffering and a degree of happiness.
People are tested through a series of physical and emotional challenges.
It doesn’t matter who we are or where we are now, we need to believe that the person who is in front of us went through the same degree of challenges as us, or if they haven’t they will eventually.

I believe in this concept more than anything that has been told to me purely because it puts my mind at ease.
I feel that everyone goes through tough times. We are all put to the test and most of the time, we make it out the other end.

Now for each person the pain might be different, but remember we all go through something in some form or another.

This whole sphere of an idea is has been a developing idea in the back of my mind for months. Not only does it make sense, to me, but it proves honest in most cases.

Everyone has gone through sufferings and those same people have had periods of happiness. Right now, we are all going through a period, whether you wish to acknowledge it or not.

You are either content or your not.

Now tomorrow, that may have changed, you may have been told that you are hopeless or be given an promotion, you may be hit by a bus or you could find out the girl who you slept with two weeks ago is actually pregnant.

Now your predictions to the emotional outcome of those situations will be pretty similar, except for maybe the last one for the girl could be your wife for example.

Or maybe, if you did get hit by a bus you’d be happy?
I don’t know. But if you were to be happy to be hit by a bus, go see someone, please..

Anyone, back to what I was saying.
In a months time, our situation would have changed completely. Our perceptions of the people around us would have been challenged and the emotions that we considered truthful are now just dust settling on the administration of our lost memories.

In a years time we as a person would have changed.
The things that would have moulded not only our physical representation but also our personal persona. The thing we call us, or me, or you is now comparable to the different person who resided in your shell a year ago.

Change is inevitable. We cannot avoid it.
We cannot change change.
Change, just, happens.

Changing for the better is what we hope to do.
But changing for the situations at hand is what tends to happen.

We are all under this degrees of suffering and happiness.
We have all been through as much as you and when you look at someone who is happy just know in time they will be brought back down by the cycle of the globe.

Nobody can avoid it.
The only thing a body can do is to ignore the existence of change.

Thanks for Reading,
Jacob xo

May 24, 2010

Censorship.

Posted in Uncategorized at 11:03 am by Jacob


Leave, leave,
And free yourself at the same time
Leave, leave,
I don’t understand, you’ve already gone

Ever feel like history keeps repeating itself?
With every day the same things keep happening. The same situations keep occoring with different sets of people.
We each acknowledge the acceptance of failure, we acknowledge a mistake.
The world continues to punish us for something that we already feel terrible about.
We live each day with the acceptance of the lie that we created within our own minds.

We live according to the boundaries set by others and play in view of others where they thing what we do, we do out of our own accord.

No body is free to create. We are all limited by rules and ideologies that only exist within the ‘superiors’ mind. They believe that everyone thinks exactly like they do but little do they know that not everyone is as screwed as they are.

We as humans should be free to be who and what we want to turn into. The person that we are in the eyes of others and the showiness of our attitude should be determined within our own minds and the approval should only need to come from the limits of our own minds.

The image of ourselves within other peoples minds is tainted by a opportunity that was stolen from the lot of us.
We create to please and our creation was destroyed, altered, tailored and became loose fitted.

It fell down on the floor, we said nothing. We just smiled and walked. Smiled and walked.
Smiled and walked, then locked ourselves in a room and screamed within the window.

Hush. Hush. Hush.
Don’t you cry.
Mummas gonna buy you an apple pie.

~

Your just like the rest of them.
Who would have guessed. Not me, obviously.
I will be something far greater than anyone can predict.
I will hold more power than you could ever imagine.

I dream out of the ordinary in the knowledge that the world unfortunately has limits.
I dream hoping that you dream too.
But, I don’t think that’s the case.

I should just learn, but that’s never, ever going to happen.
Let me make a mistake rather than stopping the test before it happens.

Let yourself go and all the idiocies along with it.

Thanks for Reading,
Jacob xo

May 16, 2010

Childhood.

Posted in Uncategorized at 8:37 am by Jacob


Where is this land
We’ve built for us
Where are these streets
We’ve built for us

Promises that we make to one in time seep into our everyday vocabulary.

Promises that we make to ones that we love to stop the occurrence of hurt and the misplacement of footsteps tend to control us even when we choose them not too.

We say goodbye to happiness before it has docked on our shores. We let go of the little things that we wish we’d kept but knew we must not.
We are all trying to not cause suffering for others but in that one act of charity to one we create an abomination of emotions swirling around underneath the tremendous amount of complicated layers.

The notes left behind on our walls and in our books haunt us as we try to forget the avoidance of what others would call a mistake or what we would think of it as the dismissal of opportunity to smile.

Let it all go, they say.
It wasn’t going to work, they say.
What you feel now is just the start, not the constant.

What I feel now, I feel now.
What I feel now, I cannot change.
What I feel now, is trapped underneath sheets of personal deceit.

Covers of lights blinding not only you, but myself. I am like this, but only because I made that one promise that one cold night.

And a promise that now holds no relevance. One that which for ourselves doesn’t hold purpose.
If others don’t view situations in the same light and sense that you do, why should we limit ourselves and the chance of possible safety and security.

Hold onto what you know for if you let go of it, someone will steal it.
They will bring it back to basics. Write what you know, keep it close to you when you travel and weep when you read the stories of the past for they hold your treasures and memories.

Those things and memories don’t last forever.
Don’t trap yourself in ideas of self denial or self limitation.

Be free to live like you’re meant too.
Be what you will and eat with who you want too.
Be the person to make others happy and themselves.

Be human and let yourself make mistakes.

Thanks for Reading,
Jacob xo

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